3 Huge Mistakes Every Fuck-buddy Makes Online

Nobody is perfect, guys. People mess up. They screw the pooch, it happens. And learning the in’s and out’s of the whole ‘fuckbuddy’ thing can be very tricky, so don’t think you’re safe from experiencing something similar.

If you pay close attention to these major hookup mistakes men make, you might actually pick up on a few things that might ultimately make you a supreme candidate for the ‘fuckbuddy’ position. Let’s get into it.

  1. Too Many Questions

    Have you ever met a girl who you think is sweet and attractive one moment, and then obsessive in the next? You know, the kind of girl that bombards you think 100 questions every 5 minutes because she’s worried that you’re DMing some other hot piece of ass? Yeah.

    Unless you’re the kind of guy that likes to feel like he’s getting interrogated by his mom every time he goes over for a smash, this girl is everyone’s worst nightmare. Especially when you actually go meet up with her.

    I know because I’ve been there – your dick is hard and you don’t care what you’re about to stick it in, even if it’s some crazy chick with a neck tattoo that you met an hour ago through a dating app. In your right mind you probably would have realized the insanity radiating off of her profile, but now all you need is a warm bed with a hottie in it.

    Well, that’s where you fucked up because you didn’t even think about the hours of pillow talk that comes with these kinds of ‘first meet-ups’ and you definitely didn’t think about how much you mean to her. But don’t worry, she’ll tell you. Over and over again. Like a nightmarish coo-coo-clock.

    You’ve probably done this one time or another so, don’t laugh too hard fellas. Just know that when that fateful day comes, and you get 18 text messages in a row and have plans to attend a couples jewelry making class at the youth center – I’ll be laughing right back.

  2. What Are We?

    One of the most uncool fuck-buddy moves you can pull would have to be the one where you try to un-fuck-buddy her. Becasue that’s what happens right?

    In case you’ve never been in this situation before, let me lay it on you. You’re laying in be covered in sweat, wearing a thin sheet as a robe, and she rests her head on your chest. She takes a deep exhale, looks up at you and says, “What are we? Really, what are we?” and your balls literally turn back up into your body, almost like they’re trying to disappear from existence itself.

    This is just a bad move for anyone to make without picking up some signals first. Not to mention it completely destroys the whole dynamic of the hangout. A fuckbuddy hangout says, “Let’s have unprotected sex and run red lights!” as opposed to the girlfriend dynamic of “15 minutes of missionary and 2 hours listening about her day at work.

    If you’re a guy, you’re not safe from this pal. In fact, guys might actually do this more than girls. Anyways, when you ask her if she wants to take it a step further by attempting to define your relationship, you ruin everything you two have built. She either says no and then has to explain to you why she doesn’t think you should come over anymore, or she says no again.

    There’s no senario where you come out of this one on top, sorry guys. Just don’t try it.

  3. The Lube

    If you have a 2 liter of lube sitting on your nightstand when she comes over for the first time… what are you doin’ here. I mean, maybe if you were 16 and lame it might be ok, but you’re grown.

    By pulling out lube before the foreplay, you have (in a single move) destroyed the entire evening’s mood. Girls like excitement, they like passion, they like heat-of-the-moment stuff – not a man who’s too prepared to fuck. She wants to see the fire in your eyes man, not the jelly on your wiener.

    It also tells a woman right away that you’re an incompetent lover. I mean, if you have to break out the travel sized KY just to put it in then you’re probably not going to be able to satisfy a high-caliber fuckbuddy like her.

    Not to mention it smells like shit. Have you ever gotten that stuff on you? It smells like somebody fermented can of old tennis balls and then juiced them. The smell doesn’t go away either – you need to wash your hands like 3 fuckin’ times before you finally stop smelling like a used fleshlight. It’s horrible for both people involved and it just sadly not a huge turn on for most ladies.

Here’s How To Maintain A Meet and Fuck Relationship

 

If you’re lucky enough to have found yourself in a friends with benefits relationship or even a meet n fuck relationship, you’re probably wondering how to hold on to it, right?

Of course you are. A friends with benefits relationship is like a long-term relationship but without the commitment, the pressure and the expectations. They’re a way of maintaining a healthy sex life without having to worry about all the added baggage that comes along with it.

However, friends with benefits relationships aren’t for everyone. It’s not easy for some people to put aside their emotions while they enjoy a vigorous sex life, which is totally understandable. Physical intimacy by its very nature produces intense emotional responses, so having to ignore these feelings can be a difficult task.

But if you keep the following things in mind during your friends with benefits relationship, you’ll both get the most enjoyable experience possible.

Keep your expectations in check

There’s a very clear line between casual sex and exclusive dating. With the former, you don’t get a say in your partner’s activities outside of your time together. With the latter, you do.

Providing you’re okay with the FWB setup, it’s important to understand that you may have to share your fuckbuddy with other people. You will only survive a friends with benefits situation if you’re content that your relationship is transient by its very nature, and gives you no jurisdiction over their extra-curricular activities.

It’s normal for a little jealousy to creep in now and again, but you need to be able to handle it.

Be open about your emotions

Just because you’re fuckbuddies doesn’t mean you can’t have a healthy line of communication between you. Be honest with your FWB about exactly why you’re only interested in a casual sex relationship and nothing more. This avoids any possibility of your partner believing that you may progress to anything more, or vice versa.

Keep it as sex-only as possible

Pillow talk will be commonplace if you spend enough time in the bedroom, but once your FWB arrangement transcends the boundaries of sex, you risk straying into relationship territory. If you speak to each other every day, you’re only going to get annoyed or upset when your FWB is busy or can’t reply. At this point, it stops being a friends with benefits relationship and becomes a regular relationship – something neither of you signed up for.

Prepare for the inevitable end

Unless your FWB blossoms into a full-blown relationship, there’s only one other route it can go. FWB relationships tend to have short lifespans, meaning you’re going to end up breaking a few off in your time.

But it’s important to remember that there’s a reason why a FWB relationship will end. If one person develops feelings for the other, then it’s a good idea to call the relationship off and find solace elsewhere. If this does happen, remember not to blame yourself or the other person for the way the end result. Don’t take it personally and respect yours and theirs emotional boundaries.

A Brief History of How Flash Became Obsolete

It is 2017 and Flash is officially dead. There was once a time where you had to opt in to use Adobe Flash to experience almost any website in its full glory, however that earlier, simpler time has now past and this script is virtually obsolete.

It is however very impressive how Flash went from one of the most used plugins on the internet to basically an extinct species. There were several factors that contributed it Flash’s untimely demise, all of which finally coming together so strike a fatal blow to the plugin.

Here is a brief history on how Adobe Flash became completely and utterly obsolete:

• Security issues:

One of the biggest issues with Flash was how flawed it’s security protocols where. There were so many holes left unchecked in their security to where in some cases it lead to user’s computers being controlled by hackers.

If someone is scared to use your plugin for fear of the life of their laptop then you probably have a problem on your hands.

• Accessibility:

Mozilla and Apple took some serious steps to make it extremely difficult for users to see banner ads that were run by Flash. You already have to opt in to use Flash but with Firefox and Safari it was increasingly difficult to see ads made with Flash.

And if consumers can’t see adds, companies are going to see a dip in traffic and profit. When their profit dips they’re going to change something about their advertising campaign. And when they change their ad campaign they’re probably going to create ads that do not utilize Flash. And when less people are using Flash, Adobe gets hit.

Firefox forces users to opt in to see animations build in Flash with each user encounter. Chrome does enable Flash by default but will soon release a version of Chrome which will idle Flash content when a user is not actively engaging with the content.

This causes a huge problem for advertisers which will be very quick to jump ship if they want to continue to gain ad revenue.

• Downloads on downloads:

Safari forces users to go out of their way to download the Flash plugin and in updates of Safari, it has forced people who already have Flash to re-install newer versions of Flash to view the content made with the plug in.

I would be lying to you if every time I was forced to re-install Flash I didn’t fear for my computer’s life. I would check the URL over and over again making sure I was downloading from the right site.

This anxiety lead to less and less people downloading the plug in for fear of accidentally downloading malware.

Yes, Flash was the catalyst for some of the most cutting-edge animations over the course of the computer age. Without Flash, we wouldn’t have the flashy (ha!) animated advertisements we see today or have had the games we used to waste countless hours at work with. And so, we do have Adobe to thank for that, however we have now shifted into an era dominated by HTML5.

Check out the video below for more info on how flash became obsolete!